Pitter-Pat

Pitter-pat the angel on my shoulder
Is haunting me tonight
Tick-tock the clock
Is getting louder waiting for me to decide

I know it's been a while but here I am second guessing again. I'm going to try my best to refrain from being overly dramatic. Now here it is:

Please try not to gag. I have to decide: between two people.

One I want to hate. I want to be rid of him so much. I thought I loved him, but when I look back on it, I find myself looking at a relationship where I wasn't treated good enough. Now I don't need fancy things or every ounce of your attention. But I do want to know I mean the world to you and when you go home at night you're thinking of me. With him, I was never sure. And I still can't be sure. But every time I see him I feel like we should be together again and yet neither of us will say or do it. Plus who knows what he's been doing since we ended.

The other I want to love. He's so nice to me and so funny. He never fails to make me smile and I can talk to him for hours. But I'm just not sure I feel a real connection. Sometimes it seems like it, but then other times I'm not sure or I find myself thinking about the other one. He treats me how  I should be treated and when I go home at night I know he's only thinking about me. But I'm thinking about them both and I feel so many different shades of guilty because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.

I'm so stuck. I think it's between something I want and something I need. I can't figure it out and I feel like I can't say anything to either of them because that would only tip off a giant triangle of drama- and I don't need drama.

I'm running out of time. And I can't decide.